Nowshera mosquitoes were never so bad
As those that attacked us in Abbotobad,
But later, when travelling through lousy Lahore
We found that the insects there stung even more.
But India's bugs give the mildest of bites
Compared with the 'mozzies' at Kuanton at night.
They drill through your gas cape and layers of KD.
Raise bumps like hot marbles on elbows and knees.
They lap up mosquito cream like raspberry jelly,
It gives them an appetite to bite at your belly,
For up in the jungle at Beserah, I'll swear
I saw, while on guard, a huge long-legged pair
Of the nastiest beasties, each with a harpoon,
They flitted about by the light of the moon
Around sleeping squaddies, inspecting for size
They picked on a cook as the tastiest prize.
They checked his identity disk - what for?
To find out his blood group - they favour 04.
Then I heard them debating the next step to take:
"DO we eat him right here? Perhaps that's a mistake.
Let's take him back home to the depths of the bush."
The elder one spoke: "Just a minute. Don't rush!
If we take him back home, there's very little doubt
The big boys will take him - and leave us with nowt!"